Ambrose Bierce was born 24 June 1842 and died circa 1914
- Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
- If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.
- Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dump.
- He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
- Future, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
- History, n. an account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
- Marriage, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.
- Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
- Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
- Youth looks forward, for nothing is behind! Age backward, for nothing is before.
Bierce was an American editorialist, journalist, short-story writer, and satirist. He is best known for his short story, An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge, and his satirical dictionary, The Devil’s Dictionary.
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